I started this blog to mark the beginning of a new chapter in my life as a single woman, after four years of a mostly unhappy marriage. During those years, hardly anyone knew I wasn’t happy. I thought a decent married woman should never talk about the state of her marriage to anyone. But the silence also stifled me and dried up all my creative juices. I used to blog all the time; since I got married, hardly a word.
Now is my time to speak up.
I hate being miserable, so I always turn up smiling, I crack jokes and make everyone laugh. But once at home, I retreated into a dark cave, pretended everything was okay; I took abuse, humiliation, threats, name calling, the lot. When I once questioned the health of our relationship, my husband told me, “This is as good as it gets.” Because I had never lived with a man before, I believed him. I thought that was how all marriages were supposed to be. How naïve.
This blog for anyone who has ever had their heart broken, their dreams crushed, anyone who’s ever had to rebuild one’s life or one’s self after a break-up, a separation, a divorce. It is also about pursuing new dreams, and why not old dreams, about what we want and don’t want in a relationship. What is it, at the end of the day, that we really long for – do you even know. (“Sehnsucht” is German for longing – read my first post about it).
I have no idea how the blog will evolve or which direction it will head towards, but depending on my mood and the topic of the day, it is likely to swing from lyrical to outrageous, from tongue-in-cheek to downright raunchy. I also warn you there will be explicit references to sex. After all it is a blog for adults: think Carrie Bradshaw and Sex and the City for grown-ups.
I heartily welcome comments, which of course can be anonymous to protect your privacy. If you would like to contact me privately to share your story or send me suggestions for a blog post, feel free to email me on sehensucht2013[at]gmail.com.
Oh, and you can call me Cris. That’s all you need to know.